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Philosophical Conundrums of our Time
No.3: If I cannot see my cellulite, does it really exist?
by
Lebby Eyres
uploaded: 12-01-2005
Forget trees falling in woods. What really troubles deep thinkers these days, particularly those that work for L’Oreal, is the existence of that dimpled layer of subcutaneous fat commonly known as “cellulite”.
As we know, our understanding of “cellulite” is vague, inconsistent and subjective. What might be cellulite to a group of paparazzi waiting outside a gym to photograph Princess Diana, is merely marks from a car seat to the princess herself. And what to a boyfriend might be foul, orange-peel pock-marked thighs, could just be “bad lighting” to the girlfriend in question.
Then there are those stick-thin women in the gym changing room who urge you to “look at their cellulite” as they squeeze an inch of smooth, toned, perfect thigh and just about manage to summon up the merest hint of a dimple if they pinch hard enough. Likewise, we have the residents of many a wintry Northern town who swear never to have heard of the word as they stalk the streets, flaunting their bumpy, stocking-less pins under a micro micro-mini.
And while your GP will happily tell there’s no such thing as “cellulite”, it will come as no surprise to find that the word was coined by the French a few years (well, 150) before our Gallic mates also revealed that “French Women Don’t Get Fat”. Or have cellulite, presumably. Is it merely a coincidence then that most posh anti-cellulite products are made by the French? Is it all a conspiracy to make the rest of the world’s women feel bad?
In fact, even if we can conclude from this wealth of evidence that it doesn’t exist, there is one incontrovertible truth about cellulite. Someone’s making a lot of money out of telling you it does.
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